So you might be asking yourself, ‘How’s that goober doing on those things he said he was going to quit?’

This is part two. Sorry for the break, back surgery and its complications can be a helluva thing. Let’s just jump right back in though, shall we?

Lying to myself about how easy or how hard something is going to be: This is one, a bit like expectations, that’s difficult to pin down. Again, you’re dealing with what goes on in your melon. However just declaring it, saying it’s something I’m going to quit, reminds me when I start building those straw houses in my head. I’m sure the psychologists would concur.


Cutting my hair: As the picture above shows this has been an ugly battle. My old softball team used to call me tennis-ball head because my m.o. was to roll into town after spring finals and head to the barber. I told him to cut everything off that stuck up above his fingers when he ran them through my hair. (Sorry, but that sounds a little weird, doesn’t it?) Anyway, you can see the nickname was well-earned.

Snooze: I don’t have much trouble with this one, however I will admit to re-setting my alarm occasionally. Physical aches and pains and good ‘ol insomnia and this weird thing where I wake up in the middle of the night like I had a full night’s sleep have been known to jack up my sleep patterns. Sometimes when the alarm goes off at five I re-set it for an hour. I chalk it up to self-preservation and giving myself some grace. Call it what you will.

Keeping silent about my depression: I’ve been able to carry this out with surprisingly pleasant results. I’m not walking up to people and starting conversations with, “How are you? I’m terrible. I’m battling depression” but I don’t shy away from talking about it. For me, breaking the silence about what I deal with has diffused it somewhat. If it comes up (and most typically it does when I turn down a beer) I find people are interested in my story. I think everyone has a natural curiosity about what goes on in their fellow earthling’s head (although I’ve been accused of being an alien).

Talking so much when I pray: I shut up more and more every day now on my way to work and I have to say if I weren’t driving I might nod off. There’s something about talking to God, thanking him for all the blessings, praying for people and acknowledging his Son and then just shutting the hell up that is as near as I’ve come to meditation. Sure, there’s the urge to finish my prayers and turn on a podcast but I’ve found that just being open to what God has to say to me is great. My prayer is always conversational. I basically say, ‘Okay, lay it on me, father’ and hang on to see where he takes me. I highly, highly recommend it.

Not saying something at a funeral: Thankfully I’ve only had one opportunity to put this into action since I decided to quit clamming up in these situations. It went fine and the guy whose wife had passed away was very appreciative of my simple expression of my condolences. Obviously it’s not one I relish making good on the promise but it’s definitely the right thing to do.

Trying to control all things in my life: This one is a constant battle. Listening to God after I pray actually helps me do this. I find that when I methodically and regularly look to something bigger than me and admit I’m sort of a small thing here on this earth and in this life thing I’m actually able to shift responsibility for all things and say, ‘Okay, I’m just here trying to fill my role, whatever that may be. My job is to just be the best “me” I can be.’ Getting to that conclusion and being good with it really frees up your noggin.

Keeping score: This one and the control thing go hand in hand. I have been stating (sometimes out loud if I need to and can) “Just let it go, man. Just let it go.” Once again, I’d be much less than honest if I said there isn’t some little moron whispering in my ear that I’ve been wronged or slighted in some way but I do my best to kick that little schmuck out.

Analyzing the crap out of everything-take action: This one’s pretty new and I’m progressing toward the action part. I’ve resolved to stop over-thinking things and I’m comfortable with that. Now I just need to start taking first steps toward the things I want to do. Although I’ll never admit it to my spouse, I’ve actually resolved to make a plan (gasp!). And the plan is to not maul the “how-to” around up there but just put the action into action. So, yeah, workin’ on it.

Ignoring my health: Well, irony of ironies, that this one is the last to give a status on here. I’m actually 17 days post back surgery and dealing with, of all things, double vision. And no, it’s not from really good drugs. I’d like to take credit for addressing this 20+ year diagnosis finally but this would surely make my pants burst into flames. Nope, when your legs stop working right and you can’t raise your toes it’s time to get something done.

Well that’s a wrap on the old status report for now. Next week it’s back to quitting something new and exciting or something old and crusty (probably a greater chance of the latter).

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